All Bets On A Game Of Chance

Our IVF consultation went rather well.  Dr. A was very warm and welcoming.  He feels that we are making the right decision,  which left us both feeling pretty positive and looking forward to the next step.  We discussed the protocol of a typical IVF cycle and factors that may affect our chances ranging from age issues to genetic conditions.  Here is the best part of IVF, there is a 60% chance of pregnancy compared to a 20% chance with IUI.  How do you like those odds?  Of course everything is based on statistics and I would think at some point I could fall into the positive side of those statistics, right? 

We could have started our first IVF cycle today.  When Dr. A said that, Brian's eyes about bugged out of his head and rolled right out of the first emergency exit door.  Of course we are not jumping in that quickly as there are many details to attend to, my sanity, financial aspects, and making many tough decisions.  We have about four weeks before our days are filled with injections (whoopee jumping for joy!), monitoring, blood work, and a lot of hope.  In the meantime I will be focusing on finding my Zen, through treating myself kindly, pampering our marriage, and hopefully losing some of the chub brought on by all of this madness. 

Let me add, I do have very high expectations of this process.  However, I also have this awful feeling that I will never be pregnant again.  It has been one year since we first conceived and our track record is pretty awful.  Who would ever think that this would be their life?  I didn't, that is for sure.  Hard to believe it is possible when everyone around you is pregnant just by thinking of babies.  Hell, some have even had two babies since we first started trying in 2008.  Is the universe fair?  No, but life isn't fair.  To quote the quote that I hate "it is what it is."  As I said before, if you asked me a year ago if I would have had any medical intervention, my answer was a quick no.  After our loss and several failed natural attempts by March, had you asked me if I would consider IUI, again no - but look where we ended up in May and June - IUI!  In May and June had you asked me if we would consider IVF  since the IUIs failed, it was no. Well, look at us now.  Once again our desires far out weigh our fears.  It became very clear that we must do all that we can to achieve our baby dreams so that there are no regrets later in life.  We have three chances.  If IVF does not work for us, we can find peace in knowing that we have done everything possible to make it happen.

Peace