Baby Fultz

Baby Fultz

September 12, 2009 ~ November 30, 2009
EDD June 19, 2010

Forever In Our Hearts

You brought so much joy to our lives

even though you were with
us for such a short time.

We will always love you and keep

you close to our hearts.

With love,

Your Daddy and Mommy

Guardian Angels
by my mother, Barbara
Florence, Italy 2008
after the loss of Baby Harlan
she gave this to put in our memory book

This is the story of Baby Fultz from the few journal entries I made during our pregnancy.

October 9, 2009

Today I learned that I am carrying you, my precious bundle of joy.  We have been waiting along time for you to join our lives and we look forward to every upcoming moment.  Your daddy doesn't really know you are here yet.  Tonight I have a surprise for him.  I put the pregnancy test and a Lakers bib in a gift box.  I also bought him a book for expecting fathers. He is going to be so surprised!  I am preparing a special dinner of mini burgers, mini potatoes, and a few other nibbles.  I can't wait to see the look on his face!  I couldn't keep my secret all to myself this morning.  So, I called your Grandma Barbara, Aunt Amber, and Great Grandma Irene - They are so excited too.  This was a bittersweet moment as this is the anniversary of my baby sister Heather's death.  My best friend, Auntie Jenn, is also expecting her first baby.  We are so happy to experience pregnancy together.  I can't wait to hear your heartbeat for the first time.  I can already feel you making your home in my belly.  I promise to love you with all my heart and to always keep you safe.

October 16, 2009

It has been a week full of emotions and excitement.  Your daddy is so happy!  My thoughts are always focused on you.  Your daddy bought me a beautiful orchid and a sweet card.  We are going to care for and watch the orchid grow as we wait for you.  Come June you will see it in your room.  Last night we told your Grandma Yvonne and Grandpa Nick over dinner.  It was pretty funny.  I found a pumpkin shaped bib that said "Grandma's Little Pumpkin" and thought that would be a perfect clue.  We decided to give Grandpa Nick the Lakers bib, since he is just as big of a fan as we are.  As our plates arrived, we handed them each their bib.  Your daddy told them that he thought they might need these since they are such messy eaters.  The look on their faces was priceless.  Baby, they are going to spoil you!  We are anxiously waiting for our first doctor's appointment on October 27th.  I don't think that day can come quick enough.  This weekend we are going to tell your Great Grandma Nanny and Great Grandpa Popo.  We really hope that you get the chance to meet them.  Maybe you will be the reason to keep them healthy and strong.  Now we have to figure out how to tell your Grandpa Ronny and Grandma Carol.  It is too bad they live so far away.  It is amazing how many grandparents you have.  What a blessed baby!

Poem we gave Brian's Grandmother Nanny

I do not have a face to see,

Or to put inside a frame.

I do not have soft checks to kiss,

I do not yet have a name.

Not yet can you hold my tiny hands,

Nor whisper in my ear.

It's still to too soon to sing a song,

Or cuddle me so near.

But all that will change next June,

When they say I am due.

I am your new great grand baby,

And I cannot wait to meet you!

All I ask between now and then,

Is your love for me to grow.

I promise I will be worth the wait,

Just think of all the joy we will know!

So, as you are waiting patiently,

Please say lots of prayers for me.

I cannot wait to be a part

of this wonderful family.

In memory of Nanny, Bernhardine Binckley

May 28, 1919 ~ October 18, 2009
We sadly lost this amazing woman on October 18, 2009
just days after we shared our special news.

Nanny, you will always be in our hearts and deeply missed.

October 26, 2009

Tomorrow is our first prenatal visit.  I am filled with excitement and a bit nervous.  I hope that we are lucky enough to have an ultrasound so that we can see your tiny heart beating.  I saw Auntie Jenn's ultrasound today.  I am still so amazed at how close you in age you will both be.  We also learned that your Uncle Mark and Auntie Jodi are expecting too!  How wonderful that you and your cousin will be just weeks apart!  Nothing could be more perfect.  I have been tired lately, I think all of my energy is focused on you and your happy, healthy environment.  Daddy and I took a drive with Luna on Sunday.  We stopped at this adorable baby store in Encinitas called The Magical Child.  We bought you your first outfit, a cream onesie with a peace sign.  Your daddy picked it out.

October 27, 2009

We had a bit of a scare this morning before our first appointment.  The doc has assured us that everything is good.  Dr. Melkonian is wonderful!  He put me on bed rest for the rest of the day.  I am now taking Progesterone for the next couple of weeks.  We have our first ultrasound this Saturday and are really looking forward to this moment.  We can't wait to see you!  Luna stayed by my side all day today, such a sweet dog.  She knew I needed rest.  Daddy brought home lots of mashed potatoes and I have been watching Halloween movies all day.  Thank goodness I had entertainment.

November 2, 2009

Yay!  We are on our way to our first ultrasound!  All the blood work came back excellent, grow baby grow.  Despite the nausea and utter exhaustion, this is all very exciting.

The ultrasound experience was quite disappointing.  They would not allow your daddy in the room with me, nor did the tech say a word to me though out the 45 minutes.  I was pretty heartbroken and angry at the same time.  After much pleading, she allowed me to get Brian and let him see a picture of you.
  

November 6, 2009

We finally got the ultrasound results back.  You are a happy budding baby with a strong heartbeat.  I cannot wait for the next ultrasound where we actually get to see and hear you.  Saturday Daddy and I went shopping.  We bought me a few maternity clothes and a cute giraffe nightie for you.  Daddy also bought you a stuffed, sleep dolphin that makes ocean creature sounds to soothe you.  He is going to be such a wonderful father.

November 29, 2009

Written by Brian

This is very hard to write.  Yesterday, Jennifer and I found out that we lost you.  We are so very sorry, it hurts us so much.  We wanted you in our lives and thought about you everyday.  We cannot stop crying about you, we wanted so much to be loving parents.  Jennifer is so sad it hurts me to see her this way.  We will never forget the short time we got to spend with you.  Every time I looked at her belly I would day dream about what you would be like. I hope and know that you will forgive because we loved the thought of you so much.  But something went wrong and don't know why and never will.  We will try and move on with our lives but will never forget the love we had for you in short time we had.

Love, so much love

Mommy and Daddy

November 30, 2009

Today is the day we officially lost our sweet Baby Fultz at eleven weeks and two days.  We have named you Baby Harlan.  I miss you dearly and cannot bear the pain I feel.  You will always be our first baby and love.